Reality shattered my Ivory castle of wonderland.Now i am disillusioned,devastated.Is death my only savior?

Get a grip. Would you let other dysfunctional people destroy you? For what reason? You need to get out of that environment somehow and into a situation where you are appreciated. That means getting out of your room and out of your shell. It means starting a new life for yourself and being around people who do not have the problems of those you lived with in the past. We become like those we are close to. Get close to someone decent and the process of making yourself over can begin. You have started it already by recognizing the problem, now all you have to do is to act on that recognition and get out of there. Set a goal for yourself and go do it.